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Query Critique 63
Dear __________, While following your (webpage/twitter/etc) I have noticed that you are interested ______ and _______. I feel that A DREAM AWOKEN would be a good fit for both of these. Valeria West is...
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Query Critique 67
Memories. They are one of the most important aspects of our very existence. Memories shape our individuality, provide a roadmap as to how we should act, and serve as an aid as we travel through life,...
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Frost Blog Tour: An interview with E. Latimer
You feel a great sense of pride whenever one of your critique partners does something awesome. Which is why I’m stoked to be kicking off the blog tour for E. Latimer’s new book, Frost, which is being...
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Query Critique 68
Pride of Divinians, the royal family stands above all. This sentence doesn’t make a lot of sense to me. Led by someone who can manipulate people and beasts alike, a coterie agrees that the royalty must...
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Query Critique 72
Ginnifer’s past vanished at five when her parents died in a fire. I think some of the stuff later in the query would make a better hook. A lot of books feature dead parents. Now sixteen, all that...
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Query Critique 73
Dear Agent Name, In an ancient Rome-like world, people who once had magical abilities – the Verasians – are enslaved, forced to fight each other. This sentence reads a bit clunky. Maybe there’s...
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Query Critique 76
Dear Agent Awesome RIVER SPELL is a 92K word young adult fantasy based on the Russian legends of the Rusalka. Like THE GIRL OF FIRE AND THORNS, my novel shows one girl’s struggle not only against...
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Query Critique 78
Dear __________: What if everything you wanted was at your fingertips but at the cost of your soul? I’m pretty much never in favor of beginning with a rhetorical question. This is Pita’s secret. He can...
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Query Critique 84
Baronet Brandon Shrike is in serious trouble. Too vague! Give me something specific in the hook. King Justin Capet has been poisoned and is near death. Tasked with finding the perpetrator, Brandon, the...
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Query Critique 87
Dear Ms. Kyra Nelson, (Two personalization sentences). Without further ado, I would like to invite you to The Black Night Rave. This sentence seems sort of unnecessary. Just jump into the query. At...
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